News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
