this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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