It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
