never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
