how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
