i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So much rum. So many feels.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
