i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
