Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
