After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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