dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
