I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
