week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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