i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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