I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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