Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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