matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Plan B is the new Plan A
i barfeds in our rink
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
