Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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