We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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