I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
