He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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