I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
