Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
