Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
