I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
