with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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