It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
