Cold hands, warm shart.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
