I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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