Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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