butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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