i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
