stop calling my apartment porn island.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
