i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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