i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
there was a trapeze. enough said
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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