$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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