my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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