I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
