Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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