Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
