At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
