those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
