It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
