I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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