so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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