I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
