I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
