I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
