i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Help. Why am I so naked?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
