Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
