Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
