and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
