help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
