I am puke
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
