So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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