do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
