everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
