She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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