Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
