I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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