you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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