you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
