i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
A+ Viking dick
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
