im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
